Today

Today is a good day to start

You know what? Everyone starts somewhere. That is incredibly cliché but true. I’ve been working on three books about the same family since 2018, but the idea for them was living with me since I was 15 years old. What took so long? Where were the words almost 20 years ago? I’m pretty sure its because I kept deleting it. I’d start writing, re-read it, hate it immediately, and delete the whole thing. The characters would start complaining again, take over my thoughts and I would try again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Fast forward to 2018. I was in nursing school getting ready to graduate, take the boards and start work at a local hospital. Why on earth would these people pick RIGHT THEN to start bugging me. I had enough on my plate, 2 kids and one on the way, plus a career I loved but resigned myself to. I turned to my friend Nicole, who helped me survive RN school, and I said “I’m writing a book.” I figured like anyone else she’d tell me “that’s cool!” but think ‘this chick is crazy and she’ll never do it’. My own projection of my self-doubt. But what she really did was tell me how awesome that is and asked me what it was about then asked if she could read it. I gave her my outline and she was even more excited. I sent her every chapter as I wrote them, she loved it! She even told the rest of our group I was writing a book.

“Yea, she’s my friend. of course she isn’t going to tell me she hates it, or tell me what’s wrong with it.” (I’m my biggest bully and harshest critic, aren’t we all?)

So why would she read 175k words total if she hated it? a small voice of hope breaks through my bleak thoughts. “That’s the friend filter, she likes it because she is your friend.” Ah okay, that makes sense 😒 Why can’t I just be nice?

After sending it to Nicole, I had another ally named Dawn. Her writing? Gorgeous. Mine? Here’s an example. “I am walking to the store.” 😂 Her nursing notes were pure poetry. Not good for real nursing but they should be published somewhere. She told me she was writing a book too. Her background was a Masters in English for Journalism. She was willing to read my story, and she helped me mold my manuscripts into, well, a real manuscript. What I had written was 55,000 word run on sentence if you can imagine. It took longer to fix it than to write it. I’m still fixing them. I have a feeling that when I hit publish I’ll still find stuff to fix. That’s life I guess.

My biggest surprise is when I did start working in a hospital.

I had told a few people that I was writing a book. They wanted to read it but I was terrified to let people I SEE EVERY DAY read my books, they’re personal!! I put my heart and soul into these books! I put my real life in here! I wrote spicy scenes! I don’t want people to know I wrote this! My priest?! My family?! My priest’s family!? Ohhh no, I need a pen name. Plus who the heck can say my real name right, almost no one 😁 Anyway, my biggest fans were my coworkers! They loved the story, the medical stuff, the music stuff, the spicy stuff, they read them, and told me I was talented. They told me I was their favorite author.

‘Author’ A title I didn’t imagine or claim for myself. Authors are official, they have real books out there you can buy. I was floored. As scared as I was to let them read it, they supported me the most, gave me the confidence to go on.

So I wrote them what was next? No one tells you that writing the books are the easiest part.

I got a good lead from a coworker’s cousin (a published author for Harlequin, yep that Harlequin!) to join the RWA, Romance writers of America. So I did, but was still lost and confused. But I put a message out to the Universe and put everything in God’s Hands. I found the contest route. I never won any but the feedback I got was as good as being first place in my eyes! I found critique partners. I read a lot of other great books from authors in the same boat I’m in. Best I can describe it, it’s like a union. You pay the dues and they help you out when you need it, like the nurses’ union at work.

Now for the craziest part. I found my writer family on Tik Tok, of all places. BOOKTOK IS HUGE! So many authors, readers and mentors. So much support from real live people. I found the rest of the plan. Write the book, edit the book, get an author website, build your email list (the step I’m in the middle of, lol!)

Okay, I promise I’m almost done rambling. To sum up, I go back to my original statement. Today is a good day to start. I put off getting a website and email list going because I felt like I have nothing to offer (again with the stupid self doubt!) I don’t have a book for sale or any fun goodies (yet) but I do have myself. Isn’t that what we offer to people when we do anything important? ‘Here’s my heart and soul, please don’t hate it.’ If you read this far and have been putting anything off, Start today. Deep breaths, type one word, take one step. Before you know it, you have the hard thing done. Go you! I support you, sending hugs and positive vibes! Put your brave face on and get out there!